• Helpful definitions:
    • Transgender: describesa person whose gender identity is different from that assigned to them at birth.
    • Cisgender: describes a person whose gender identify is the same as that assigned to them at birth
  • Honor the unique gender identity of each person.
    • Use the person’s chosen name. DO NOT “deadname” someone by referring to them by a name they previously used, even in the context of introducing them. (For example, don’t say, “This is Sabrina, who used to be Samuel.”)
    • Use pronouns as requested; if you are unsure of what pronouns the person prefers, ask. Remember that “they” is a valid singular pronoun.
      • If you use a non-preferred pronoun do not make a big deal of it. Correct yourself, apologize, and move on. Try to do better next time. Practice at home if you need a chance to get used to a new or unfamiliar pronoun.
  • Affirm the person’s chosen gender expression. For example:
    • Someone might identify as male and choose to paint his fingernails. Compliment him on the color!
    • Someone might present as female and walk into the men’s bathroom. It’s OK.
    • Someone might wear a dress one day and a suit the next. Appreciate their fashion flexibility.
    • Do not expect people to look or act a certain way based on their gender identity. This applies to transgender and cisgender people.
  • Be aware of and sensitive to the difficulties many transgender people face.
    • Transgender people face overt and covert forms of discrimination and harassment in many areas of life.
      • Believe what they tell you about their experiences.
      • Recognize signs of trauma and learn how to respond.
      • Speak up publicly for the rights and dignity of transgender people.
  • Recognize appropriate boundaries. Sometimes people forget basic boundaries when talking with people who are transgender. Remember:
    • It is not OK to comment on any part of anyone’s body—even if the comment is intended to be affirming of the person’s gender identity.
    • It is not OK to ask questions about a person’s sex life or genitals.
  • Do not expect transgender people (or their parents/partners) to educate you on all things transgender. Do a Google search. Read a book. Talk to your pastor!

(Written by Joanna Harader, 2021)